Aren’t You Tired?

I’m tired! Time to rant and this is personal to writers everywhere. I’ve reached a limit.

I’m tired of trying to share, explain, convince, persuade, extoll, proclaim and define my worth, abilities, writing, sales, lack of sales, reasons to try, results of failures, reasons for awards or success, writing, re-writing…

I’m just tired. I’m tired of hypocrites, two-faced friends, lazy writers, mouthy writers, backstabbers, whiners, hyperbole, deriders, dividers, promise-breakers, cheaters and pseudo friends.
I think I’m having a day when my cup overfloweth with ENOUGH.

Look. I’m a writer. I have my foibles and my strengths. Some days I’m strong and capable and flourishing while other days I’m useless, struggling, and cranky. Some days I can’t stop writing. Some days I want to stop because it sucks but I keep on plodding through it. It still sucks, though. I’m not perfect but some days I write and say things that nearly are. Little golden moments. I like to be jubilant when those moments come. Please don’t play “put-you-down” on those rare times. I tend to dislike you when you do. I know you need to feel better about you and less about me when you do that, and its ugly of you.

I’m also human. And sensitive. I don’t like it when people assume that I never have a bad day. It would be nice to be asked how I’m doing. Sometimes I’m crappy, too. But if you really don’t care how I feel, please don’t ask me. You are the worst sort of person because I always answer with truth. If you don’t want to know, then move on. And don’t ask me how I am just so you can hurry up and tell me all about your trials and miseries.

Please don’t tell me you share my passion for writing if all you do is think about it or tell others what you plan to write. Planning is good. I plan. I outline. I research (sometimes too much). But sooner or later you have start writing. If you’re still talking about it years later, please don’t try to insinuate yourself into my world just because you need to “feel” like a writer. It’s okay if you don’t write. We can still hang out. But we’ll be more real with each other if we don’t pretend.

Writers/authors are told to surround ourselves with positive people. Well, not everyone is positive all the time. I understand bad days. I have compassion for “troubled times.” I understand long-term difficulties. But if you focus solely on the bad, you’ll send me away. If you focus only on you, you’ll send me away. Sometimes you have to step into the light so that others can help. Be positive even in the face of adversity and let others reach you. And don’t forget that others may have need of you to be uplifting too. Don’t forget to ask how someone else is doing. (Unless of course, you don’t care and then you are the person I’m speaking about here).

I’m tired. I don’t like playing games with people. I don’t like ulterior motives or playing “one-up-manship.” Every writer is different. Every writer walks a solitary path with individualized goals and expectations. I can’t do what you do and I don’t expect to see or feel the same success as you do, when you do. Mine is going to come in its own time and as I work for it. Magic does not happen without effort. You cannot achieve what I do and you shouldn’t try. I cannot do what you do and must not measure myself against you. Do your thing. I will support you. I will encourage you. I will help when and where I can. I expect the same from you in support, encouragement, understanding in return. When you don’t support in kind, it will tell me a great deal about you.

Please don’t be one of these writers that only wishes to speak about self, never has time to ask about me or others. Please don’t be so self-absorbed that you forget there are others out there with projects and stuff to share, too. Don’t care? Then don’t expect me to care about you!

How about you? Haven’t you had enough crap? Aren’t you tired?

Then stop enabling! Stop “putting up with” and start demanding better. The writer community can be a golden, helpful, learning place. Choke out the weeds. Burn off the rot. Seek higher ground. Breathe fresher air. Become energized by light. Shed everything that makes you tired. And anyone.

The thing that makes me the most tired? Those who are determined not to change, those who don’t try, and those who talk a good game, empty as it is.

I’m very tired. But I have the ability to change this. So do you. Here I go. No more crap, okay? All you people with your selfish, self-serving, senseless, useless, two-faced, compassionless, pointless, narcissistic usury, go elsewhere. We’re finished. I’m officially too tired to care for you.

As Yoda said, “Do or do not. There is no try.” Care or don’t. Write or don’t. But let’s stop playing and pretending. ‘Nuff said. Rant over.

Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry

The Vagaries of Social Media

Lately I’ve had some online friends who decided to pull back and disappear from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social media sites. Most of them cite similar reasons for taking protracted breaks. Reasons include: stress, mental health, disgust, tiredness, lack of fun and time consuming. Ah, the vagaries of social media!

I did not want to be on Facebook but when my first book came out, my publisher practically insisted. “If you want to sell books you need an audience and to do that you need Facebook. And Twitter. And….

Well I was already on Twitter, and had been for about a year. But I dragged my feet about Facebook because I didn’t care to post about sneezing or what I ate for lunch, or how I spilled my coffee or where the cat threw up. I really did NOT want to be involved in such a banal, trivial and cliché world. But I joined.

I kept my interactions simple and limited myself to general notes on weather, inspiration, book promotion, and things about writing. Took me a while to learn how to fill everything out and make it work. Than I learned about the ability to have a “page” and more learning commenced as I tried to build an author page (which is why I was there in the first place).

When I started to find familiar faces “out there,” I settled in with a little more confidence. I still kept my personal interactions to a minimum and never disclosed anything too personal. I’m still this way. But gradually I began to see the trouble with “social” media” and why the vagaries sent people away.

I wanted, and still sometimes want, to go away too.

Seems we’ve forgotten how to be civil. We don’t allow people to have a personal opinion that differs with ours. We have forgotten how to debate and be respectful of others’ ideas. We don’t approve of people who are different. We are self-centered and narcissitic. If we aren’t selfie-ing our friends to death, we are meme-ing ad nauseum or else we are selling and selling and selling and selling. It gets tiresome and exhausting and boring and did I mention tiresome?

Social media has made us antisocial (not everyone, of course, I speak generally here). It seems to have brought out the bigots, the racists, the homophobes, the misogynists, the anti-everyone, the social media platform builders and sellers, the buy-me-and-no-one-else-crowds and the folks who drowned out my Notifications with their posts of 57 new pictures every day.

What happened to being social? Where is the “how are you?” Where are the folks who are interested in you just for you? Where are the people who can share a little and then engage a lot?

It is no wonder that people are stressed about social media. It’s a madhouse of nasty innuendo, bad language, constant buy-buy-buy or sell-sell-sell, political vitriol (it has to do with who is #45), sickness, excuses and complaints. People are taking a break by the droves because the vagaries of social media are turning us into people we don’t like. 

Knowing this I wonder why we can’t be different, better, more social and stress a lot less?

Take a good hard look at your feeds. If you are a business, then sell. But remember to gain notice you have to be social too. Are you putting out a thousand pictures all over everyone’s feed? Stop. Give me 10 now and maybe 10 more later. I don’t need every single photo of your trip. Or else use the custom notifications and send only to those who really want to know the intimate details.

Yes, let us see the new baby, the new kitty, the graduation, the success, the bestseller, the solo at church, the blue ribbon and the first day of school. We are interested in your big moments. But exercise some caution before you get in too deep about your personal life. (And as a suggestion, stop broadcasting to the public when you are away from the house. Use the friends only for that and keep yourself safer). Sharing is caring. Too much sharing is overkill. Social media has become the overkill valley. No wonder we’re all wanting to run away back to the lives we know and love.

Let’s do a little less finger pointing, harassing, shaming and bullying. Let’s be SOCIAL and be kind. Let’s be curious and interested about others even though you want to yell “BUY MY BOOK.”  Remember that social media serves a purpose. It’s not a retail store (unless you have a business page). Want to get some fans? Be social before you be the salesperson.

And stop letting the vagaries of social media drive you, your friends, and me away because we need to stop stressing, worrying and recovering. Let’s be FUN! There’s a thought, right?

Let’s make Social media a social thing again and maybe we won’t trouble ourselves with the vagaries ever again.

I remain, Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry

Normally, I don’t like discussing religion and politics. I keep to mine and let others keep to theirs, mostly because of the controversy and vitriol the diversity tends to create. However, when it comes to writing, I don’t think writers should shy away from professing their beliefs. Not if the message is hopeful and encouraging. Not if lessons are learned or gained. Not if growth will be the result. If any of those reasons is the result of a controversial or important opinion or viewpoint, then you, the writer, are obligated to make a presentation, take a stand, and share your vision.

But let me be clear about one thing — I’m not for chest thumping issues. I believe in offering solutions for the majority. I believe in looking forward and not back. I do not believe in finger pointing, shaming or manipulating facts. To offer an opinion is one thing, but to offer something stronger, like change, requires intelligent and careful approaches. The bull in the china shop won’t work.

Why? Change is rarely if ever easy. Oh sure, we’ve all heard that before, but it is true. Let’s just look at the issue of the Confederate Flag. Now for me, I’ve never been a supporter. Mostly because I have read the history of the flag and know how it evolved and why (most people have not read anything about it but assume a great deal). For over a hundred years, many towns have had flags flying and monuments built but there has not been the kind of outcry as seen recently. No group, in previous and recent memory, stood on courthouse steps screaming at the top of their lungs to remove the statues, down the flag, or take it off the license plates. Only when a crazed killer waves a Confederate flag (he didn’t even espouse the Confederate beliefs, not the real ones), and kills nine people, that the world goes nuts and begins a kind of banishment and censorship that has risen to eyebrow breaking heights. And suddenly the pain of change begins. Whatever the reason, no matter how odd or rational or whatever, the painful transmutation begins where the world seeks betterment and plastic surgery.

There are such knee-jerk reactions to every major event. When a whole room of kindergarden children are attacked, when a massive number are killed in a nightclub, when a building is bombed or 60 women accuse a once family-friendly father figure of the most disgusting sexual abuse, when a child is selling lemonade without a permit, a black woman enters a white pool, or white police officer shoots a young black teen in the back, or when a lone gunman shoots down into a concert. The results from such incidents bring a cry for laws, justice — change.

Change hurts. Change shocks. Change excites. Change inspires. Change is new. Change is scary. Change is….life. Change is THE PLOT, writers.

Writers are instruments of change. We can move mountains when our words bring truth. Our truth can bring change and when used for positive reasons, we can do wondrous things. We can motivate and inspire, enliven and create. We can also scare, threaten, intimidate, command, demand, manipulate, and destroy. Lawmakers, politicians, pastors, teachers, parents, journalists,  all react and respond.

We writers have this power, too. 

We have power and we have obligation. Our stories, even our small ones, can contain instruments of change. Our lessons and our messages might be small or they may be blimpy, but you should exercise your power as a writer.

Don’t be one of those people who rise up only from opportunity. Make change a force that works always. Make change because it is right, has always been right, will continue to be right because it is a universal truth and must be repeated and shared. Make change a part of your life, one by which you can live every day. Be the power, the force, and the idea that is something better and more important than a bullet or a knife, or a flag, or an acerbic word.

As writers, we have a chance to do special things. With everything you write, every thought you present, it is your moment for lessons, for change, for enlightenment, for magic. Will you be like the Confederate Flag, a token of bygone values, of dead mores, of antipathy? Will you be the opportunist who urges change only when an incident makes your voice fortuitous?  Or will you be like the sun, rising glorious and steady, regular and necessary, honest and blunt, lighting the way?

Don’t worry whether or not others are reading or listening. Even a whisper in the dark can reach one soul. One thought can change a mind, one tear can give hope. Never run from offering honesty.

Change is hard but must happen for progress. Writers have a tool to help facilitate changes when they are needed. Write. Wisely chose the way you cut your words and change the world for the better.

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NEWS:  Wrapping edits on my new book, LOVE AND BLOOD. The cover IS FINISHED and I’m about to do a reveal. If you want a first look, be sure to sign up for my newsletter. Those folks will see the book cover before the public reveal.

And if you missed the latest LOVE AND BLOOD hint (on Facebook), here is the graphic with a picture highlighting the action in the book.

Thanks for stopping by.

I remain, Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry