THE LEGACY OF TRADITIONS

As I prepared for Christmas this year, I went through my usual, annual habits and realized some of my habits were in fact greater than such a trivial label.  Many of my habits are actual  traditions, made so not by me but from a long list of women who prepared for hundreds of Christmases before me.

I guess my realization began as I gathered the tablecloths from the bottom drawer of the sideboard. In the bottom, lovingly folded, the white tablecloths with candy canes, cookies, and Santa stockings were waiting for their annual viewing.  I inherited these tablecloths from my mother who got them from my paternal grandmother, who received one of them from my great-grandmother.  I removed these cloths and as I passed my fingers over the well-worn pattern, I realized that I was standing, walking, and working in the shadow of a great Christmas tradition – the ritual unpacking and ironing of the cherished linens.

    From 2009

How many times had I seen my grandmothers and mother stand beside the ironing board and watch the back-and-forth motion accompanied with the “sssshhhhh” of steam rising from the freshly washed, pristine cloths?  How often did I marvel at their patience as they performed this ritual ironing, wondering why on earth would they bother (you know teenagers and their lack of “big picture” living)?  How often did my mother send me to the kitchen to refill the little spray bottle with cool water, used to dampen the heavy cotton cloths and eliminate wrinkles?  I even have a memory of a great “thud” of a true cast iron as my grandmother labored over very old, thick, cotton tablecloths with an oven-heated iron. Talk about arm muscles!

  This year

As I pulled out my ironing board, all these memories and thoughts rushed back. I had a small, self-satisfied moment as I realized now I was a part of a wondrous past, a line of great women who continued a truly satisfying tradition of Christmas linens.  I need not ask “why go through all that ironing” as I look at my dining room or kitchen table.  I can’t help but smile, proudly I admit, as I spot the Christmas table cloths with candy canes and Christmas stockings draped over sofa tables or the sideboard. There is a Christmas magic of which I am now a part, as woven as I am into this tapestry of tradition.

Need you ask why a woman who never irons at any other time of the year, irons once a year for Christmas? Call it part of the decorations?  Sure.  But it is so much more to me now.

This is the legacy of traditions. Like the corn soufflé served over certain holidays but only once a year. Like serving ham on New Year’s Day, turkey on Thanksgiving,  or goose for Christmas. Like red, white, and blue decorations for Fourth of July but only that day. These are the things we expect, demand and rely upon as legacy and heritage. Whatever we grew up with or adopted and continue throughout our lives, these matter. These actions and items are comforting and fulfilling because they are part of our “life identity.”

Just like I must have chocolate chip cookies that include a box of Jell-O Pudding to keep the cookies soft, and I must bake these just before Christmas. As I turn on my mixer, I am transported to an older kitchen where other women mixed a batter just like mine and turned out chocolate chip cookies as I will do, to the delight of the house. Habit? Tradition? Legacy.

As an author, this legacy of tradition matters in your writing too. Each book in a series builds on a legacy. The familiar habits of your characters, the places they go regularly. The friendships they develop and the depth of each relationship changes and is enriched in ever chapter, in every book. Every story revisit is a chance to use the traditions and the legacies that you give your readers. And like things we do for ourselves over holidays (even birthdays), so the readers feel taken into your family of stories when you surround them with traditions which completes legacies and legends.

Build these traditions from the beginning in your stories and when you can, repeat them as your stories continue. Pay attention to your real life legacy of traditions and as you enjoy the habits of the season, remember you can give your readers the same joy. Whether you mirror, mimic or create new ideas for your characters and their lives, remember the legacy you leave in your stories can be as real to your readers as your enjoyments are to you.

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ANNOUNCEMENT:  Be sure to join me in my monthly Facebook Live chat on Thursday, Dec 21 at 10 am EST. And come back to Facebook later in the day for a BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION FOR DRAHOMIRA – she’s turning 1000 (well, actually 1020 but we’re keeping to the stories). And she’s got a surprise for you which I will tell you about during my chat!

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I wish each of you a very Merry Christmas and a joyous New Year. I won’t have a blog post for you on Christmas day but I will have a Year in Review post to celebrate the opening of 2018. Come back then and share tales of your Christmas with me.

Here’s to Auld Lang Syne, a song that means “for the sake of old times” and reminds us to cherish old friendships, good health and to toast the new year. Here’s to you! See you next year and thank you for joining me this year as we all strive to be the best we can be.

I remain, 

Separate “Being” from “Doing”

There is so much chaos and violence in the world today. I’m with you on how perplexing it is to see good-hearted people turning on neighbors, to see normally kind children suddenly killing peers, or older adults planning to bomb buildings because a spouse was unfaithful. The world seems quite mad sometimes. And when you add politics into the mix, well, frankly, I am either speechless or soapboxing. There seems little room for anything “in between” these days.

As a result of this madness that makes us feel like we are drowning in sorrow and hatred, there is the added reality of jobs, taxes, entitements, rights, freedoms, all being beaten, bruised or completely extinguished. At every turn we feel frustrated, horrified, confused, tormented, violated, and downtrodden. We must react!

I get it.

Writers find a way to release those emotions, to vent the chaos, to highlight the issues, and lift their pens and pencils in the various causes which call each writer to action. For some, the challenge is an editorial or commentary. For others, they invoke social media and an uprising of action. For still others, there are petitions and bills and amendments, protests and town halls.

Writers are rarely silent on the world around them. We are often the avatars of information.

But I want to highlight one time when it may behoove the writer/author to be still. A long time ago, a very wise older gentleman put a hand on my shoulder and reminded me of something which I carry in my heart today. Over 40 years ago, I was sternly chastised with this warning:

You can’t confuse who you are with what you do.

Okay so some of you are saying, ah that’s not how I heard that saying. There are so many quotes out there about not confusing attitude with personality, desire with destiny and the list goes on. No, this is not that quote.

What this fine gentleman (a military man, a father, a visionary, and a jack-of-all trades) reminded me simply was this: You are a person of particular likes and dislikes. Your job/your work is not to be confused or combined with who you are as an individual. The two are separate and distinct. You do not marry your work, no matter whether it is hobby or profession. At the end of the day you don’t sleep with it or make babies with it, even if the work is something you do 24 hours a day (as in being in the military, being a doctor or a police officer.) Even a mother understands that who she is as a mother and parent is not who she is as a person. And many mothers will tell you they struggled to regain their private self from their mother self! That is the separation I speak about here.

The two entities are entirely separate and should stay that way. (And that is what people forget and one contributing factor why there is added chaos and discord, in my opinion.)

But that isn’t the extent of my warning. As you learn to know yourself and learn to live your life and keep your work from being who you are, you as a writer must learn a greater lesson:

Do not confuse who your characters are with who you are.

This is VERY important. Sometimes we get so caught up in the real chaos that we, as writers and authors forget and let our true feelings bleed over into our characters. If you are writing a memoir about yourself then that may be useful. However, 99% of the time, the vampire, shapeshifter, elf, robot, sweet librarian, or punk rocker won’t have (and can’t begin to fathom) your feelings or your attitudes. And you do your readers a disservice when you lose sight of the warning and forget the lesson. Your stories become preachy, muddied, and confusing. They start being about you and not your characters.

The warning holds true for any profession where you perform a service. Remember that who you are and what you do (writer who writes), are two entirely different and distinct things. Keep them separate. Learn to take yourself out of your reality and put yourself into your character’s reality. If you can’t keep them apart, then you are doing it wrong. No reader wants you to preach or soapbox to them through your characters and use your writing as an excuse to do it. Be mindful of your story and keep to the boundries that you designed. Reality and fiction sometimes meet but never with the heavy-handed chaos that is the full truth.

And how do you insure the separation? You step back and become the character and the reader of your story. You forget you and become them, the people who now live and breath the magic you create. Let them have their life and not yours. Be aware and trust your ability. It doesn’t matter what the reader thinks of you (though we want to be liked). What matters is what the reader thinks of the characters you create. Let the reader love them. And you can be you later.

And that’s my advice for this week. 

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*** Just two weeks to go til Christmas! Take advantage of the sale I have going on for Breaking the Glass Slipper, The Gypsy Thorn and Time and Blood. Check out my Amazon page (and follow me for whenever changes happen). Prices will change in the new year. Also, look for something special coming for Christmas concerning Midnight Assassin!

*** It’s not too late to sign up for the newsletter. Only those who receive the newsletter will receive first dibs on new things, free stories or free books and insights into the next new book coming Summer of 2018.

*** Finally, Drahomira’s birthday is Dec 21, the Winter Solstice. If you don’t know who Drahomira is then you need to catch up with my fiction!). She’s planning a party so watch my Facebook author page for more details.

Until next time, I remain,
Yours Between the Lines,
Sherry

P.S. Don’t forget, every Monday on Instagram is #pinyourpen day! You can follow me and see what pen I put up today (and see past offerings too!) I’m doing this for one year, so catch up!

Thanksgiving in three days. Are you ready? We’re having a small turkey with all the trimmings, which means oyster dressing, mashed potatoes, giblet gravy, green beans, salad, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie! Then we will be stuffed and probably take a nap or watch a movie and then nap. 

We’re very blessed and we are filled with gratitude.

Gratitude. That’s my subject for today. A much tossed-around word and I wonder if you give the word the thought it deserves. According to Dictionary.com, the word means “a quality of feeling grateful or thankful.” Merriam Webster adds, “a sense of appreciation.”

This time of year we are “told” it is customary to count one’s blessings. I hear so many people online and in person who toss around how grateful they are yet in the second breath, their words are all about complaints and disappointments, illness and sorrow, anger and even, hatred. Kinda hard to mention gratitude when you are busy denigrating people or wallowing in problems.

Wrong. One of the most important times to be grateful and to share that gratitude is during troubled or angry times. Why? Because gratitude is about remembering what you have that is good, happy, intrinsically valuable and enriching. There is always something to be grateful for, something or someone to whom you can give appreciation. And no, you don’t have to be openly gushing with gratitude because sometimes appreciating is by moments and those are private. But we do have to realize there is always something uplifting for which we can celebrate and be thankful even in the darkest moments.

Let’s start with the light. 

First, I am pleased to tell you that my recent release, Time and Blood, reached the #1 Bestseller status on Friday November 17, 2017. That happens when you reach #1 in your book categories. I did in one of three and reached #2 in the other two. I am so grateful to the people who bought the book and therefore elevated me to that #1 status. A truly amazing moment.

Next, National Novel Writing Month is into it’s last 10 days. I’m happy to announce that I’m over 46K and expect to finish prior to Thanksgiving. I had my ups and downs with this one. My outline and I turned on each other but I never let it stop me and I just wrote whatever felt fun and kept going. There is the secret. Have fun and keep going!

     I want to add an aside here. While working on NaNo, I listened to a great many complaints. No time, too hard, too tired, too many other things to do, I’m sick…you get the idea. This is where it’s important to latch on to gratitude and hold on tight. I’m with you. I hear you. I’ve had awful things happen during my NaNo’s too. And I remembered what was good while in the dark. I had family and health, warmth and food, friends, family, home, love. Yes, it’s important to grab all the good, positive things and be grateful for them. They sustain and support you. And gratitude can propel you to succeed if you allow it.

Finally, with Thanksgiving coming this week, I want to encourage you to pause and reflect on gratitude. Take nothing for granted, no matter how small.  Whether you have a feast with family or a sandwich on the run, stop and think of the tiny blessings. You live and eat when so many struggle. Be grateful. Make no assumptions. Surrounded by people who like and love you? Please be deeply appreciative for them. Have a new book or even a bestseller? Did you finish NaNo? Did you get a chance to try? Have a Job? Pay your bills? Every small thing is worth reflecting on your blessings.

Okay so what about when things are bad? You burned the turkey? Laugh and be grateful of having a bird, an oven, the ability to cook. Cake fell? Eat a twinkie and be happy. Dishwasher leaking? Turn it off and wash those lovely dishes by hand. You have hands! Some people don’t. You are alone? Don’t be. Go out, call someone. Car broken? Friends WILL come to you. No friends? You still have you and you are your best friend. There are lights in the dark, if you just stop to look.

Gratitude. I am thankful every single day and not just on Thanksgiving. But this holiday of giving and appreciation reminds me to take stock of my life and stand tall amid strife and chaos, and help others who aren’t standing quite as steady as I am. 

Which leads me to you, reader. Thank you. For supporting me, following me, helping me and believing in me. This Thanksgiving and every day I am deeply appreciative and I count my many blessings that come from being a writer.

Writer. Author. Two books this year. A pocket of awards and now a “best seller” moniker.  Add to those wonders:  a Personal Assistant who gives generously and has been my right hand and sanity. Plus friends who whisper in my ear and keep me on the right track. Radio interviews by Off the Chain and Hangin’ With Web Show, and publicity in magazines like Turning The Pages and Southern Writer’s Magazine. Bloggers who supported me and other Authors who advised me. Friends who uplifted me. And most of all, a husband who loves me.

Gratitude. Remember yours. The smallest things matter the most. Happy Thanksgiving!

As always, I remain
Yours Between the Lines,
Sherry