I Love You. Maybe.

Contemporary romance is blooming. Book covers show couples embracing, sexy girls and guys are wrapped around sexy backs and fronts of other sexy girls and guys. Lips are barely touching and some covers how bared legs with creeping hands of guys and/or gals. Dark fiction is oozing blood and vampire eyes are shining bright with lust (or else its just colored lights). Even the titles are all about the romance: harems and lovers, his woman, her hero, his and her lovers. And the bedroom sheets are flying with “seduced, compelled, driven, broken, bound,” etc.

I really enjoy a good love story. They don’t have to be happy-ever-after ones either. I don’t mind if I cry or laugh as long as the story itself is well told. 

What I don’t enjoy is using love as a tool. “I love you,” he said — it’s not enough. Don’t tell me how much you love me. SHOW me. 

Valentine’s Day is upon us and soon the commercial snake will rear its head and lovers everywhere will receive chocolates and flowers, tokens of affection from sexy soaps to books, and couples will head out to that romantic dinner. I heard on the television that men will pay over $300 on the big day and women won’t pay more than $70. I don’t think I understand that difference but I can tell you that for me, if you really want to wow me with your love, SHOW ME.

Now I’m not knocking an engagement ring (though I really wish you wouldn’t propose on V-day since that’s so cliché). Or a dinner at a nice restaurant. And I’m not saying that a good tumble in the bed (or hay, or wherever) isn’t an exceptional way to express yourself.

But if you really want to say how much you love me, SHOW ME. Okay, you say, what does that really mean?

Good question. What does it mean when your character says those three little words. Are they magic? Are they meant to be nostalgic? Are they memorable moments never to be forgotten? Then make them that way.

Telling isn’t showing. Sure, saying the words is important. But if you really want to convey the message in your stories, then show characters DOING things that demonstrate the love.
     Making (and even burning) breakfast. In bed. On the patio. Camping.
     Cutting out a valentine card and making a mess. A lovely mess.
     Doing something domestic as a surprise.
     Growing the flowers that become the bouquet and plucking them, too.
     Making a mini movie.
     Making a photo album or scrapbook.
     Sending a remote controlled train or car with a message.

You get the idea. I want to feel the love coming out of the stories when I read them. I don’t want to read the words but I want to FEEL the love from the ACTIONS. If the characters demonstrate from the beginning or come around toward the end, then I will BELIEVE that the love is real.

And that’s the whole point, isn’t it?

It isn’t enough to say that you love someone. Anyone can do that. It means nothing without some action to support the words. Whether in real life or in your stories, what you show me beats what you say to me every time. In fact, the more you show me, the less you need to say to me.

“I love you.”   “I know.”

And we got that because of what we had seen. ‘Nuff said (and in case you never saw Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back,then you missed the greatest demonstration of love ever.)

So get out there this Valentine’s Day, and every day, and SHOW your cherished loves how much you care. Then when your actions are finally punctuated with the words, they will smile and say, “I know.” Because finally, they will.

* * *

As far as the “demonstrating” part goes, let it be those things we do everyday that we wouldn’t do if our most cherished other wasn’t around. Do you do ordinary things that are special because they are there? And if they weren’t there would you stop doing those things? These are demonstrations of love. 

Every day my beloved shows me how much he cares by making a cup of tea, picking up something special at the grocery story, doing a chore around the house that I usually do, anticipating my wants and taking action, making a meal, even doing the dishes. Ordinary things can be the loudest words you may ever hear. Are you listening?

Don’t stop saying, “I love you.” But if you really do, find ways to remove doubt and let the words be punctuation instead of the statement. 

Just like one bite is not enough for my vampires, give me more to sink my teeth into and I’m a believer in your love (and lovers) forever. There can be no “maybe.”

Thanks for showing me you care by coming to visit. I love you too.

I remain, Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry

Over the last month, I’ve been writing to Santa and publishing these every Monday (or trying to, internet notwithstanding!). This is my final letter, written for Christmas Eve, 2018. (Please note these letters do not include promotional or hyper links since I am not promoting or selling. This is for giving.)

Dear Santa, I wish…

Santa, over the last few weeks I’ve asked that you give special blessings and gifts to the mentors, the selfless ones and the troubled ones. I’ve given you names to help you fulfill those wishes and I hope I’ve been a good elf.

On this Christmas Eve, I’m not silly enough to ask for impossible things like world peace or bipartisanship between Republicans and Democrats. I can’t even ask for proof of life in outer space. No, even I realize those wishes are bigger than the both of us. But I do have a bit of a quandary with this last letter.

My problem is how can I wish for anything for myself? I have been blessed with love of family and friends, a roof, food and health. Everything else surrounding me is the glitter on the gift box! I feel very selfish asking for anything at all when I have so very much.

As a result I give to charity. I avoid those organizations that say a lot but spend the money on administration and salaries. I want my donations to go to work right away so I give to places like SMILETRAIN, PURPLE HEART HOMES, FEED AMERICA, and HUMANE SOCIETY. I donate to my local VOLUNTEER Fire Department and I give to the POLICE for things like vests and dogs and survivors benefits. Help others to find places to give and encourage giving. It will help so many and makes you feel good. 

So what about me? Well, I do have some selfish wishes. I wish my friends and family would buy my books. I wish for buyers to leave me reviews. I wish to write better stories and to that end I study but a little luck wouldn’t hurt, if you have some extra. I wish successful bestselling authors could be less clique-ish and more open to lesser known authors, like me. 

See? There I go being selfish. I don’t like the way it makes me feel. I prefer to give, Santa. I guess that’s why you are so happy.

So I’m going to wish for more people to do Random Acts of Kindness. It makes you feel good and it does so much for others too. Wait til you see the smiles you get for being generous and kind. Oh, wait, you already know that smile! 

I do have a wish that is far greater than me — I wish for boys, girls and animals to be fostered and adopted! I want people to share the love they guard and to give it to some creature who is aching to be loved. Please Santa, find good homes for these children and pets.

After that, I don’t really have much to wish for except to wish that my friends to know how much their recent kindness, generosity, and love has meant and still means to me. This is the best gift of all. It is priceless and cannot be wished over. If that is all I ever have in life, then I am wealthy beyond measure.

I wish for everyone to be as blessed as I have been. Safe travels this night and give Rudolph some extra oats. Watch out for my friends the bats.

Oh, I’ll be waiting up with cookies. And if I fall asleep, well then, Merry Christmas Santa. God Bless us, every one.

I remain, Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry

(I’ll be back for the 2018 Year in Review wrap up next Monday!)

Over the last few weeks I’ve been attempting to write a series of letters to Santa. This letter was supposed to be for this past Monday, Dec 17. We had a storm that messed up the internet and our letter schedule. Therefore, this is letter #3. Please note, there are no promotional links because this isn’t about selling, this is only giving.

Dear Santa, Bless the Troubled

Dear Santa,

This is not a letter of thanks, Santa, but a letter asking for your kindness and aid. I hope you can hear me, Mr. Claus, because what I have to ask would normally go up to The Big Guy Upstairs, but I’m hoping to get a fast track to Him through you.

Santa, first, I want to ask for others to find empathy and compassion for those who are lost. This time of year gives rise to confusion and loneliness. Many feel lost, without anyone to turn to, without a home, family or a friend. As a result, there are numerous suicides (or attempts). When that happens, it seems the trolls come out to play. I hear things like, “well, its his/her own fault.” Or “why didn’t they speak to someone?” 

Good question, right? Why didn’t they? Probably because they were shy, confused, ashamed, depressed, and part of the many lost in the holiday rush. Children who need a kind hand, a strong and loving foster home, or a wish to be adopted. A senior citizen who puts on a smiling face but when the sun goes down find themselves completely shut off from the world. Don’t forget those seniors in the homes who feel dumped, passed over, and forgotten.

We need to remember these lonely souls, the young and the old, the forgotten and the deserted, the anxious and afraid. They need special kindness.

The next group of people I wanted to ask you to support are the sick and the physically challenged. Santa, there are many friends who have battled cancer or who are currently battling cancer…along with several others who have various diseases. It seems the sweetest and most giving end up struggling in some hospital bed putting on courageous faces for friends and family. However, I know that most of these people are worried and scared, deeply afraid that their future may be short or the view of tomorrow will be one of sterile walls and beeping machines.

Santa. those people facing disease or who are physically challenged are the second group of the lost. I want to ask you for them to know love and compassion, to find faith and courage, to know others are praying and encouraging them to keep going. I want them to know I’m more than a face in the online darkness but someone who actually cares and worries and believes they have a fighting chance for a future. Santa, give them that fighting chance. Show them how strong and fierce they can be and help them to find a secret strength they didn’t know they had within them.

Finally, Santa, the hardest lost of them all are the grieving. Whether the tears come from death, flood, fire, or finances, the deep sorrow of grief can be paralyzing, debilitating, stress beyond normal ranges, with a hollowness that no amount of laughter or cheer can fill. Worse, when the grief first happens, so many are there to commiserate and shed tears, offer hugs, and encouragement. But as the weeks crawl by, people leave as their lives go on. Meanwhile, the grieving are stuck in the moment without any way to find forward motion. People need to come back and follow up, check in, remember that grief takes time and life for the grieving is a slow moving carousel. 

Remember that losses coming during the holidays are the hardest to recover from and those are the final examples of the troubled ones. Santa, give them hope. Give them company. Give them random acts of kindness and suprrises. Remind them what joy is and help others to share theirs.

Santa, the forgotten or the lost, the physically troubled, and the grieving are my special cases this year. Please reach into their hearts and share your love with them all. Tell them how much others care for them, worry and pray. Be there for them and pass along our hearts.

This is the candle of hope I light for them. Santa, share this light and help them to feel lost no more.

One more letter coming, Santa. On Christmas Eve I will ask for my most precious wishes. I know you’re wondering what those could be!

Meanwhile, I wish you and the elves good health and good cheer. Merry Christmas dear man. Until the last letter…

I remain, Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry