Finding Gratitude from Nothing

Thanksgiving came and went this year and the holiday was a blessedly peaceful, safe, and healthy one for me. I counted my numerous blessings, ate a delicious meal and enjoyed an after dinner drink and a movie. My husband and I escaped the discussions of dreadful politics and instead we focused on family and our good life. We were (and are) grateful for what we have and cherish our good fortunes.

Gratitude. It’s so easy to feel blessed when living in abundance. It is easy to mouth about your good fortune when you have a mouth full of turkey and dressing. When you are warm by the fire in your snuggly robe and slippers enjoying a glass of fine wine and in the company of family, it is easy to feel happy. That’s why I don’t think that gratitude has as much meaning when the cup runneth over as it does when the cup is bone dry.

The fires in California provided a myriad of lessons in gratitude, or lack of it. Imagine running for your life through the flames, with nothing except the clothes on your back? And imagine your home, your town, your car, your friends – everything and everyone – perishing in the blink of a flame. Totally gone. Everything turned to gray ash. No home, no neighbors, no car, no souvenirs, no anything. You literally have nothing. How glibly those of us not there say, “well you’re alive.” And imagine the 70 yr old man who lost the only home he’d ever known, his wife, his dog, his car, his home and all his memories. And imagine how he turned to the camera and smiled and asked how he could help the firefighters. He had gratitude and wanted to share it. It was more than just “being alive.” He was genuinely thankful for his life, and those in it. He had no expectations so everything – every little thing including breathing – was a miracle for which he was grateful.

How many times have you said “thanks” out of habit or because it was expected? Do you say it when it isn’t expected? Do you express your satisfaction when there is no expectation for it? Can you say with a whole heart that you give and show gratitude and appreciation when you don’t have to or aren’t on display? Do you openly give thanks to others? Can you say that you know how to express gratitude?

This is the heart of gratitude. Feeling it when there is no obvious reason or benefit for it. To be able to say, “thank you” for a crumb instead of a whole sandwich. For having nothing but the clothes on your back and air to breathe. And to say your thanks without tearful regret, shame or other negative emotions, without wondering if you’re doing what’s expected but knowing you’re expression comes from a private place in your heart.

Gratitude is the first step to finding real happiness. To recognize and express gratitude for the smallest, the meanest, the most inconsequential is as important as recognizing your abundance, your overt blessings. When you are able to express gratitude for nothing and feel joy in that expression, then you understand the truth of finding true happiness.

So how is it done? How do you find gratitude when the car blew up and the kids are sick and bills are overdue and you’ve just been fired, when the fires take everything, when you parent dies and your divorce is final? Where is the gratitude when life hands you a big ball of….crap?

You stop expecting anything. It’s our expectations that get us into trouble. We aren’t due anything so expect nothing and everything will become a miracle blessing. Stop whining and complaining long enough to see something good in what you do have. One good thing always leads to discovering more good things. And that’s how you find abundance. Even in poverty and despair. And abundance brings on more gratitude. See?

We aren’t born knowing this emotion. We have to learn to share. So it follows that we have to learn to be grateful when we are given and stop expecting things to be our due. Once we learn the lessons that comes from gratitude, counting our blessings becomes easier to do every day.

Like the old man from Paradise who literally lost everything. His hands are empty. His world is gone. His love is dead. But, as he sees it, he still has everything. That’s a lot to be grateful for.

How about you? Give it a try. And….

As always, I remain, Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry

Thanksgiving in three days. Are you ready? We’re having a small turkey with all the trimmings, which means oyster dressing, mashed potatoes, giblet gravy, green beans, salad, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie! Then we will be stuffed and probably take a nap or watch a movie and then nap. 

We’re very blessed and we are filled with gratitude.

Gratitude. That’s my subject for today. A much tossed-around word and I wonder if you give the word the thought it deserves. According to Dictionary.com, the word means “a quality of feeling grateful or thankful.” Merriam Webster adds, “a sense of appreciation.”

This time of year we are “told” it is customary to count one’s blessings. I hear so many people online and in person who toss around how grateful they are yet in the second breath, their words are all about complaints and disappointments, illness and sorrow, anger and even, hatred. Kinda hard to mention gratitude when you are busy denigrating people or wallowing in problems.

Wrong. One of the most important times to be grateful and to share that gratitude is during troubled or angry times. Why? Because gratitude is about remembering what you have that is good, happy, intrinsically valuable and enriching. There is always something to be grateful for, something or someone to whom you can give appreciation. And no, you don’t have to be openly gushing with gratitude because sometimes appreciating is by moments and those are private. But we do have to realize there is always something uplifting for which we can celebrate and be thankful even in the darkest moments.

Let’s start with the light. 

First, I am pleased to tell you that my recent release, Time and Blood, reached the #1 Bestseller status on Friday November 17, 2017. That happens when you reach #1 in your book categories. I did in one of three and reached #2 in the other two. I am so grateful to the people who bought the book and therefore elevated me to that #1 status. A truly amazing moment.

Next, National Novel Writing Month is into it’s last 10 days. I’m happy to announce that I’m over 46K and expect to finish prior to Thanksgiving. I had my ups and downs with this one. My outline and I turned on each other but I never let it stop me and I just wrote whatever felt fun and kept going. There is the secret. Have fun and keep going!

     I want to add an aside here. While working on NaNo, I listened to a great many complaints. No time, too hard, too tired, too many other things to do, I’m sick…you get the idea. This is where it’s important to latch on to gratitude and hold on tight. I’m with you. I hear you. I’ve had awful things happen during my NaNo’s too. And I remembered what was good while in the dark. I had family and health, warmth and food, friends, family, home, love. Yes, it’s important to grab all the good, positive things and be grateful for them. They sustain and support you. And gratitude can propel you to succeed if you allow it.

Finally, with Thanksgiving coming this week, I want to encourage you to pause and reflect on gratitude. Take nothing for granted, no matter how small.  Whether you have a feast with family or a sandwich on the run, stop and think of the tiny blessings. You live and eat when so many struggle. Be grateful. Make no assumptions. Surrounded by people who like and love you? Please be deeply appreciative for them. Have a new book or even a bestseller? Did you finish NaNo? Did you get a chance to try? Have a Job? Pay your bills? Every small thing is worth reflecting on your blessings.

Okay so what about when things are bad? You burned the turkey? Laugh and be grateful of having a bird, an oven, the ability to cook. Cake fell? Eat a twinkie and be happy. Dishwasher leaking? Turn it off and wash those lovely dishes by hand. You have hands! Some people don’t. You are alone? Don’t be. Go out, call someone. Car broken? Friends WILL come to you. No friends? You still have you and you are your best friend. There are lights in the dark, if you just stop to look.

Gratitude. I am thankful every single day and not just on Thanksgiving. But this holiday of giving and appreciation reminds me to take stock of my life and stand tall amid strife and chaos, and help others who aren’t standing quite as steady as I am. 

Which leads me to you, reader. Thank you. For supporting me, following me, helping me and believing in me. This Thanksgiving and every day I am deeply appreciative and I count my many blessings that come from being a writer.

Writer. Author. Two books this year. A pocket of awards and now a “best seller” moniker.  Add to those wonders:  a Personal Assistant who gives generously and has been my right hand and sanity. Plus friends who whisper in my ear and keep me on the right track. Radio interviews by Off the Chain and Hangin’ With Web Show, and publicity in magazines like Turning The Pages and Southern Writer’s Magazine. Bloggers who supported me and other Authors who advised me. Friends who uplifted me. And most of all, a husband who loves me.

Gratitude. Remember yours. The smallest things matter the most. Happy Thanksgiving!

As always, I remain
Yours Between the Lines,
Sherry