Details Make (or break) Your Novel

I know you’ve heard the saying “it’s the little things that count,” or “the devil’s in the details.” Well, never has that been more true than when writing a novel.

Finely crafted details develop the reader’s world and keep them under your story’s spell.

Too many details or using the wrong ones, and your readers are flipping pages in bored and confused frustration as they search for meaningful information and a return to the plot.

If you want to talk about the omelet the sexy chef is making, we probably need to know about the ingredients but not intricate details about the pan. We may need to know about the stove if it is extraordinary (wood burning?) but not the convection oven. See?

Here are rules I’ve learned on what details to include, how much and when:

DO include details that support your character’s life as long as it helps us understand the personality or motivation. Maybe an assassin once won an award in archery in school.  DON’T describe looks that have no importance. We want to identify the villain soon as possible but maybe all we need to know about is the odd scar on his neck or tattoo on his finger. No need to get into detail about the gray eyes if we never see them or they don’t matter to the story.

DO concentrate on emotions. When people speak, they move. Eyebrows go up. Lips purse. Jaw muscles tighten. DON’T spend so much time emoting that we forget what we’re supposed to be doing or where we’re going. Emotions need to fit the scene and the people important to the moment. Forget the shock of the bus boy and consider the robber’s shock when he realizes he’s been captured. DO interject humor or pathos whenever you can. DON’T assume that because you don’t feel it that we will. If you don’t, we probably won’t either. Your passion must translate to the story and if it does the readers will feel it.

DO go for details that set you above the fray. Be original. Be unusual. DON’T be afraid to break tropes and set your world apart from what’s out there. Every witch has the same items and the same spell book. But instead of a cat or a gargoyle, who has a pet moth? The soaps show women always walking around their homes in high heels. What if your thing is a pair of 60’s go-go boots?

Most often forgotten are the senses. We readers love to know what the world is like, but how does it smell, or what colors are there? How does it feel? Silk or sandpaper? DO give us a complete sense of what the world is and DON’T give us more than we need for the moment. Share the rest of the details as we move through the story and experience what we need when we need it.

Too many details can be your story’s undoing. Give your readers richness and make your readers crave more. Give them too much and the gluttony will drive them away. Being sated on details is good. Being bloated is bad. (and they don’t make a Gas-X for that).

It is very true that details are the key to everything: a good suit, a tasty lasagna, and a book you can’t put down. Choose your details wisely and use smartly. And the result might produce a bestseller (I’m still trying!).

Thanks for coming by and keep writing!
Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry

I Love You. Maybe.

Contemporary romance is blooming. Book covers show couples embracing, sexy girls and guys are wrapped around sexy backs and fronts of other sexy girls and guys. Lips are barely touching and some covers how bared legs with creeping hands of guys and/or gals. Dark fiction is oozing blood and vampire eyes are shining bright with lust (or else its just colored lights). Even the titles are all about the romance: harems and lovers, his woman, her hero, his and her lovers. And the bedroom sheets are flying with “seduced, compelled, driven, broken, bound,” etc.

I really enjoy a good love story. They don’t have to be happy-ever-after ones either. I don’t mind if I cry or laugh as long as the story itself is well told. 

What I don’t enjoy is using love as a tool. “I love you,” he said — it’s not enough. Don’t tell me how much you love me. SHOW me. 

Valentine’s Day is upon us and soon the commercial snake will rear its head and lovers everywhere will receive chocolates and flowers, tokens of affection from sexy soaps to books, and couples will head out to that romantic dinner. I heard on the television that men will pay over $300 on the big day and women won’t pay more than $70. I don’t think I understand that difference but I can tell you that for me, if you really want to wow me with your love, SHOW ME.

Now I’m not knocking an engagement ring (though I really wish you wouldn’t propose on V-day since that’s so cliché). Or a dinner at a nice restaurant. And I’m not saying that a good tumble in the bed (or hay, or wherever) isn’t an exceptional way to express yourself.

But if you really want to say how much you love me, SHOW ME. Okay, you say, what does that really mean?

Good question. What does it mean when your character says those three little words. Are they magic? Are they meant to be nostalgic? Are they memorable moments never to be forgotten? Then make them that way.

Telling isn’t showing. Sure, saying the words is important. But if you really want to convey the message in your stories, then show characters DOING things that demonstrate the love.
     Making (and even burning) breakfast. In bed. On the patio. Camping.
     Cutting out a valentine card and making a mess. A lovely mess.
     Doing something domestic as a surprise.
     Growing the flowers that become the bouquet and plucking them, too.
     Making a mini movie.
     Making a photo album or scrapbook.
     Sending a remote controlled train or car with a message.

You get the idea. I want to feel the love coming out of the stories when I read them. I don’t want to read the words but I want to FEEL the love from the ACTIONS. If the characters demonstrate from the beginning or come around toward the end, then I will BELIEVE that the love is real.

And that’s the whole point, isn’t it?

It isn’t enough to say that you love someone. Anyone can do that. It means nothing without some action to support the words. Whether in real life or in your stories, what you show me beats what you say to me every time. In fact, the more you show me, the less you need to say to me.

“I love you.”   “I know.”

And we got that because of what we had seen. ‘Nuff said (and in case you never saw Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back,then you missed the greatest demonstration of love ever.)

So get out there this Valentine’s Day, and every day, and SHOW your cherished loves how much you care. Then when your actions are finally punctuated with the words, they will smile and say, “I know.” Because finally, they will.

* * *

As far as the “demonstrating” part goes, let it be those things we do everyday that we wouldn’t do if our most cherished other wasn’t around. Do you do ordinary things that are special because they are there? And if they weren’t there would you stop doing those things? These are demonstrations of love. 

Every day my beloved shows me how much he cares by making a cup of tea, picking up something special at the grocery story, doing a chore around the house that I usually do, anticipating my wants and taking action, making a meal, even doing the dishes. Ordinary things can be the loudest words you may ever hear. Are you listening?

Don’t stop saying, “I love you.” But if you really do, find ways to remove doubt and let the words be punctuation instead of the statement. 

Just like one bite is not enough for my vampires, give me more to sink my teeth into and I’m a believer in your love (and lovers) forever. There can be no “maybe.”

Thanks for showing me you care by coming to visit. I love you too.

I remain, Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry

Are You Using the Wrong Slang?

Writers are a quirky lot. We love to learn new things. Our web browser search histories are filled with oddities like phrases in Klingon, odorless poisons, how to build a rocket and where are most of the bodies buried? (Not really but it sounded good).

One mistake we writers often make, despite our best efforts, is we forget to use the appropriate language defined by the era we’re writing in. Many writers have confused Edwardian dress with Victorian, Asian with Roman, Slavic with Visigoth. Worse, were dialogue lives and makes our writing truly sing, we select the wrong words for our chosen timeline.

I know I’ve done it. I’ve referenced movies that hadn’t been made yet or used a slang term that was before my character’s birth.  In our effort to be real, we sometimes forget and use the words we are familiar with or words we’ve become accustomed to using, forgetting they were long before our time or our story’s.

Today I’m giving you some examples of slang terms from different eras, terms that NO ONE should be using anymore unless you need them for your stories. My advice to you is to be sure of your timeline and check yourself. Ask your beta readers to check too.

The age of your readers will determine how your language is absorbed. Old slang for young readers and you’re losing them (or worse, they know you are out of touch). Old slang for older readers and you’ve hooked them with your savvy. New slang for old readers and you’ve lost them as they turn pages looking to be grounded again. Words matter.

Here are some examples of things NO ONE SHOULD BE SAYING these days and words you should only use in the decades where they were born. Make your stories have truth and validity and be sparing.

From the 1950s where we used terms that were wordy, wanting to be heard and clever, pencil skirts, poodle skirts:

made in the shade
burn rubber
pad (not with an “I”
ankle biters
beat feet
cruisin’ for a bruisin’
wet rag
downer

From the 60s with Vietnam, the Beatles, bell bottoms and hippies:

far out
bummer
foxy
can you dig it
old lady (as in wife)
hang loose
lay it on me
split (as in leave)

From the 70s with pet rocks, Watergate, shag carpet and disco balls:

catch you on the flip side
The Man (meaning the police)
cool beans
spaz
chill pill
space cadet
out to lunch (meaning not right in the head or spacey)
keep on truckin’

From the 80s with shoulder pads, still smoking on planes, and sneakers without laces:

gag me with a spoon
Phat
gnarly
have a cow
Word!
tubular
bounce (as in leave)

From the 90s with slap bracelets, flannel and Skechers, and Pearl Jam:

schwing (Wayne’s World anyone?)
kick him to the curb
talk to the hand
as if!
booyah
Not! (took the place of “Psych!” which is also a no-no)
What-EVER
getting jiggy (thanks Will Smith)
you go girl!

You may find that you say many of these phrases. Sometimes we get them from growing up, the variety of our friends or simple habits from traveling. Use what you will but don’t do it when you write.

I find that I cross a multitude of decades. Must be my age. Or I’m well-traveled. Or I do it to confuse you. HA!

Remember, what you say dates you, your stories and your characters. Keep it real, dude (um, from the 90s!)

Thanks to Best Life online for the references!

Thanks for coming by,
I remain, Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry

Good Things to Know

Don’t forget you can sign up for my newsletter, or catch my live chats on my author Facebook page.
I also have a group on Facebook where often I do giveaways and have private live chats. I’d love to have you join us!