THE LEGACY OF TRADITIONS

As I prepared for Christmas this year, I went through my usual, annual habits and realized some of my habits were in fact greater than such a trivial label.  Many of my habits are actual  traditions, made so not by me but from a long list of women who prepared for hundreds of Christmases before me.

I guess my realization began as I gathered the tablecloths from the bottom drawer of the sideboard. In the bottom, lovingly folded, the white tablecloths with candy canes, cookies, and Santa stockings were waiting for their annual viewing.  I inherited these tablecloths from my mother who got them from my paternal grandmother, who received one of them from my great-grandmother.  I removed these cloths and as I passed my fingers over the well-worn pattern, I realized that I was standing, walking, and working in the shadow of a great Christmas tradition – the ritual unpacking and ironing of the cherished linens.

    From 2009

How many times had I seen my grandmothers and mother stand beside the ironing board and watch the back-and-forth motion accompanied with the “sssshhhhh” of steam rising from the freshly washed, pristine cloths?  How often did I marvel at their patience as they performed this ritual ironing, wondering why on earth would they bother (you know teenagers and their lack of “big picture” living)?  How often did my mother send me to the kitchen to refill the little spray bottle with cool water, used to dampen the heavy cotton cloths and eliminate wrinkles?  I even have a memory of a great “thud” of a true cast iron as my grandmother labored over very old, thick, cotton tablecloths with an oven-heated iron. Talk about arm muscles!

  This year

As I pulled out my ironing board, all these memories and thoughts rushed back. I had a small, self-satisfied moment as I realized now I was a part of a wondrous past, a line of great women who continued a truly satisfying tradition of Christmas linens.  I need not ask “why go through all that ironing” as I look at my dining room or kitchen table.  I can’t help but smile, proudly I admit, as I spot the Christmas table cloths with candy canes and Christmas stockings draped over sofa tables or the sideboard. There is a Christmas magic of which I am now a part, as woven as I am into this tapestry of tradition.

Need you ask why a woman who never irons at any other time of the year, irons once a year for Christmas? Call it part of the decorations?  Sure.  But it is so much more to me now.

This is the legacy of traditions. Like the corn soufflé served over certain holidays but only once a year. Like serving ham on New Year’s Day, turkey on Thanksgiving,  or goose for Christmas. Like red, white, and blue decorations for Fourth of July but only that day. These are the things we expect, demand and rely upon as legacy and heritage. Whatever we grew up with or adopted and continue throughout our lives, these matter. These actions and items are comforting and fulfilling because they are part of our “life identity.”

Just like I must have chocolate chip cookies that include a box of Jell-O Pudding to keep the cookies soft, and I must bake these just before Christmas. As I turn on my mixer, I am transported to an older kitchen where other women mixed a batter just like mine and turned out chocolate chip cookies as I will do, to the delight of the house. Habit? Tradition? Legacy.

As an author, this legacy of tradition matters in your writing too. Each book in a series builds on a legacy. The familiar habits of your characters, the places they go regularly. The friendships they develop and the depth of each relationship changes and is enriched in ever chapter, in every book. Every story revisit is a chance to use the traditions and the legacies that you give your readers. And like things we do for ourselves over holidays (even birthdays), so the readers feel taken into your family of stories when you surround them with traditions which completes legacies and legends.

Build these traditions from the beginning in your stories and when you can, repeat them as your stories continue. Pay attention to your real life legacy of traditions and as you enjoy the habits of the season, remember you can give your readers the same joy. Whether you mirror, mimic or create new ideas for your characters and their lives, remember the legacy you leave in your stories can be as real to your readers as your enjoyments are to you.

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ANNOUNCEMENT:  Be sure to join me in my monthly Facebook Live chat on Thursday, Dec 21 at 10 am EST. And come back to Facebook later in the day for a BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION FOR DRAHOMIRA – she’s turning 1000 (well, actually 1020 but we’re keeping to the stories). And she’s got a surprise for you which I will tell you about during my chat!

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I wish each of you a very Merry Christmas and a joyous New Year. I won’t have a blog post for you on Christmas day but I will have a Year in Review post to celebrate the opening of 2018. Come back then and share tales of your Christmas with me.

Here’s to Auld Lang Syne, a song that means “for the sake of old times” and reminds us to cherish old friendships, good health and to toast the new year. Here’s to you! See you next year and thank you for joining me this year as we all strive to be the best we can be.

I remain, 

Separate “Being” from “Doing”

There is so much chaos and violence in the world today. I’m with you on how perplexing it is to see good-hearted people turning on neighbors, to see normally kind children suddenly killing peers, or older adults planning to bomb buildings because a spouse was unfaithful. The world seems quite mad sometimes. And when you add politics into the mix, well, frankly, I am either speechless or soapboxing. There seems little room for anything “in between” these days.

As a result of this madness that makes us feel like we are drowning in sorrow and hatred, there is the added reality of jobs, taxes, entitements, rights, freedoms, all being beaten, bruised or completely extinguished. At every turn we feel frustrated, horrified, confused, tormented, violated, and downtrodden. We must react!

I get it.

Writers find a way to release those emotions, to vent the chaos, to highlight the issues, and lift their pens and pencils in the various causes which call each writer to action. For some, the challenge is an editorial or commentary. For others, they invoke social media and an uprising of action. For still others, there are petitions and bills and amendments, protests and town halls.

Writers are rarely silent on the world around them. We are often the avatars of information.

But I want to highlight one time when it may behoove the writer/author to be still. A long time ago, a very wise older gentleman put a hand on my shoulder and reminded me of something which I carry in my heart today. Over 40 years ago, I was sternly chastised with this warning:

You can’t confuse who you are with what you do.

Okay so some of you are saying, ah that’s not how I heard that saying. There are so many quotes out there about not confusing attitude with personality, desire with destiny and the list goes on. No, this is not that quote.

What this fine gentleman (a military man, a father, a visionary, and a jack-of-all trades) reminded me simply was this: You are a person of particular likes and dislikes. Your job/your work is not to be confused or combined with who you are as an individual. The two are separate and distinct. You do not marry your work, no matter whether it is hobby or profession. At the end of the day you don’t sleep with it or make babies with it, even if the work is something you do 24 hours a day (as in being in the military, being a doctor or a police officer.) Even a mother understands that who she is as a mother and parent is not who she is as a person. And many mothers will tell you they struggled to regain their private self from their mother self! That is the separation I speak about here.

The two entities are entirely separate and should stay that way. (And that is what people forget and one contributing factor why there is added chaos and discord, in my opinion.)

But that isn’t the extent of my warning. As you learn to know yourself and learn to live your life and keep your work from being who you are, you as a writer must learn a greater lesson:

Do not confuse who your characters are with who you are.

This is VERY important. Sometimes we get so caught up in the real chaos that we, as writers and authors forget and let our true feelings bleed over into our characters. If you are writing a memoir about yourself then that may be useful. However, 99% of the time, the vampire, shapeshifter, elf, robot, sweet librarian, or punk rocker won’t have (and can’t begin to fathom) your feelings or your attitudes. And you do your readers a disservice when you lose sight of the warning and forget the lesson. Your stories become preachy, muddied, and confusing. They start being about you and not your characters.

The warning holds true for any profession where you perform a service. Remember that who you are and what you do (writer who writes), are two entirely different and distinct things. Keep them separate. Learn to take yourself out of your reality and put yourself into your character’s reality. If you can’t keep them apart, then you are doing it wrong. No reader wants you to preach or soapbox to them through your characters and use your writing as an excuse to do it. Be mindful of your story and keep to the boundries that you designed. Reality and fiction sometimes meet but never with the heavy-handed chaos that is the full truth.

And how do you insure the separation? You step back and become the character and the reader of your story. You forget you and become them, the people who now live and breath the magic you create. Let them have their life and not yours. Be aware and trust your ability. It doesn’t matter what the reader thinks of you (though we want to be liked). What matters is what the reader thinks of the characters you create. Let the reader love them. And you can be you later.

And that’s my advice for this week. 

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*** Just two weeks to go til Christmas! Take advantage of the sale I have going on for Breaking the Glass Slipper, The Gypsy Thorn and Time and Blood. Check out my Amazon page (and follow me for whenever changes happen). Prices will change in the new year. Also, look for something special coming for Christmas concerning Midnight Assassin!

*** It’s not too late to sign up for the newsletter. Only those who receive the newsletter will receive first dibs on new things, free stories or free books and insights into the next new book coming Summer of 2018.

*** Finally, Drahomira’s birthday is Dec 21, the Winter Solstice. If you don’t know who Drahomira is then you need to catch up with my fiction!). She’s planning a party so watch my Facebook author page for more details.

Until next time, I remain,
Yours Between the Lines,
Sherry

P.S. Don’t forget, every Monday on Instagram is #pinyourpen day! You can follow me and see what pen I put up today (and see past offerings too!) I’m doing this for one year, so catch up!

If you are participating in National Novel Writing Month, NaNoWriMo, then as of yesterday you should have broken the 20K mark. That is, provided you’ve met or exceeded your word goals ever day. I had to skip Veterans’ Day on Saturday but by last night I stopped with 25,838 words. I’m ahead of the program thanks to working hard early on to be sure I had a buffer. And I learned there is a very good reason for doing so and it has nothing to do with being able to skip a day (because I don’t usually skip). The reason is because by mid month you have entered into what author Jim Butcher calls. . . . 

THE GREAT SWAMPY MIDDLE.

You can read Jim Butcher’s take on the Swampy Middle but let me paraphrase. It is the moment in the book when you’ve charged along and suddenly you’ve met your goals and you are in the middle, rambling along, maybe worry-free and suddenly it dawns on you that you really are working in circles, that you lost the goal somewhere and now, You. Are. Lost. The page is blank. The ideas are floating away and you are afraid to admit to anyone that YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DO.

It’s okay. I’ve been there. I took a big swim in the Swamp once and I lost my entire month because I couldn’t save myself. Since that time I’ve given myself an outline with several out clauses. That’s right, I built in escape holes so I could go play (if I got lost or bored) and still be able to get back to the main story. Clever, right?

Jim Butcher says you get yourself out of being lost by planning for a HUGE event in the middle of the book! That’s right, do something big and give yourself time to plan for it and then when the swampy middle arrives you have a way to get through it by blowing it up with something wild or wowie or amazing. And then you get back on track and you’ve never really left the main story.

He’s so clever. I bow to the master.

I do something like that but not as great or dramatic. I get my characters to stop and tell a story. I get them to recount something that happened before or after the book, as if to explain something to one of the other characters. It works well because it allows me to explore a new idea, keep working with the characters I already have in play and I challenge my muse to find the way back with the same characters.

Works every time. I also plan for this by leaving myself a side outline of possible tales to recount. These are the fun or funny things that I may not use in the book but will keep my heart delighted (and you never know, you might use these stories for freebies later – I intend to do just that!).

So now it’s time to push forward with that oar in your boat of uncertainty and guide yourself through that swampy bog middle of your story. It may take you another 15K or so (which is about right) and you’ll be sitting around Nov 20, but that gives you plenty of time to finish the last 15K with the best climax and ending you’ve ever done. 

Meanwhile, get some snacks, your music, your candle or your favorite blanket. Reconnect with your inner self and then wade confidently into the darkness. You are about to enter the dank, the most terrifyingly best, creepiest, coolest, part of your NaNo. And the next week will be very challenging.

From here on out, never fear the Great Swampy Middle, the Foggy Bog. Look forward to it. It will always come and you can prepare and even be excited at the challenge. After that, NaNo is always a breeze. People will wonder how you managed. Just tell them, you have a secret path through the bayou.

You can do it. I can’t wait to hear your stories. Just don’t look back. You don’t want to know what’s chasing you.

I’ll be back before Thanksgiving and we’ll talk about gratitude. Until then, keep writing. Stay focused and get some sleep.

OH! And remember, DURING NaNo – THERE IS NO DELETE BUTTON! (we need words!)

I remain, Yours Between the Lines,
Sherry