Finding Gratitude from Nothing

Thanksgiving came and went this year and the holiday was a blessedly peaceful, safe, and healthy one for me. I counted my numerous blessings, ate a delicious meal and enjoyed an after dinner drink and a movie. My husband and I escaped the discussions of dreadful politics and instead we focused on family and our good life. We were (and are) grateful for what we have and cherish our good fortunes.

Gratitude. It’s so easy to feel blessed when living in abundance. It is easy to mouth about your good fortune when you have a mouth full of turkey and dressing. When you are warm by the fire in your snuggly robe and slippers enjoying a glass of fine wine and in the company of family, it is easy to feel happy. That’s why I don’t think that gratitude has as much meaning when the cup runneth over as it does when the cup is bone dry.

The fires in California provided a myriad of lessons in gratitude, or lack of it. Imagine running for your life through the flames, with nothing except the clothes on your back? And imagine your home, your town, your car, your friends – everything and everyone – perishing in the blink of a flame. Totally gone. Everything turned to gray ash. No home, no neighbors, no car, no souvenirs, no anything. You literally have nothing. How glibly those of us not there say, “well you’re alive.” And imagine the 70 yr old man who lost the only home he’d ever known, his wife, his dog, his car, his home and all his memories. And imagine how he turned to the camera and smiled and asked how he could help the firefighters. He had gratitude and wanted to share it. It was more than just “being alive.” He was genuinely thankful for his life, and those in it. He had no expectations so everything – every little thing including breathing – was a miracle for which he was grateful.

How many times have you said “thanks” out of habit or because it was expected? Do you say it when it isn’t expected? Do you express your satisfaction when there is no expectation for it? Can you say with a whole heart that you give and show gratitude and appreciation when you don’t have to or aren’t on display? Do you openly give thanks to others? Can you say that you know how to express gratitude?

This is the heart of gratitude. Feeling it when there is no obvious reason or benefit for it. To be able to say, “thank you” for a crumb instead of a whole sandwich. For having nothing but the clothes on your back and air to breathe. And to say your thanks without tearful regret, shame or other negative emotions, without wondering if you’re doing what’s expected but knowing you’re expression comes from a private place in your heart.

Gratitude is the first step to finding real happiness. To recognize and express gratitude for the smallest, the meanest, the most inconsequential is as important as recognizing your abundance, your overt blessings. When you are able to express gratitude for nothing and feel joy in that expression, then you understand the truth of finding true happiness.

So how is it done? How do you find gratitude when the car blew up and the kids are sick and bills are overdue and you’ve just been fired, when the fires take everything, when you parent dies and your divorce is final? Where is the gratitude when life hands you a big ball of….crap?

You stop expecting anything. It’s our expectations that get us into trouble. We aren’t due anything so expect nothing and everything will become a miracle blessing. Stop whining and complaining long enough to see something good in what you do have. One good thing always leads to discovering more good things. And that’s how you find abundance. Even in poverty and despair. And abundance brings on more gratitude. See?

We aren’t born knowing this emotion. We have to learn to share. So it follows that we have to learn to be grateful when we are given and stop expecting things to be our due. Once we learn the lessons that comes from gratitude, counting our blessings becomes easier to do every day.

Like the old man from Paradise who literally lost everything. His hands are empty. His world is gone. His love is dead. But, as he sees it, he still has everything. That’s a lot to be grateful for.

How about you? Give it a try. And….

As always, I remain, Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry

Welcome to the Midpoint National Novel Writing Month

A personal letter to every participating WriMo,

3…2…1…you lifted off on 1 Nov 2018 for a writing journey that is unlike any other. First time doing the National Novel Writing Month? Feeling a little lost? Long time writer but wondering, “now what?” As you stare at your journal or computer….

Imagine what it was like for the first Apollo astronauts on their way to the moon. How exciting the liftoff was, how nervous they were with all the hype, how there was so much to do in the beginning and then —

Then they managed to get halfway to the moon, and it was dark and cold and the excitement was there but doubts and worry snuck into their dreams. What were they doing? How did they think they could do this amazing thing? What if they failed? What waited for them when they got to the moon? The questions filled their minds and maybe they were just a little bit afraid of the dark, of the unknown, and even of themselves.

This is how it may go for some writers when they hit the middle of NaNoWriMo–it is dark and cold and unknown. Doubts have set in, excitement has waned and now becomes more work than fun. And there is wonder about what they are doing, if it is even worth it, if the story matters, if they can finish, and so on. It is like being in the great vacuum of space, dark and cold.

I’m here to tell you that the mid-point of the month is called a lot of things by lots of authors (my favorite is Jim Butcher’s the Great Swampy Middle), but overall it is the same for everyone. Doubts and fear create a bit of nervous uncertainty as the shiny glow of the month wears off. What now, you ask? Here’s a little advice from a WriMo veteran.

   –First, Trust Yourself. You had a plan, even if you are pantsing it. You have tales to tell. So keep telling them.

   –Next, Focus. Don’t deviate from your path. Imagine what would have happened to the space program if the astronauts chickened out? So whether you are in the middle age, middle of the book, middle of a race, keep focused. Otherwise you will veer off course and lose your way like so many before you.

   –Then, Understand. The middle is necessary. Nothing is achieved by starting and finishing without something in the middle. The astronauts probably felt tension and nervousness. They expected it and didn’t fear it. So it must be for you. Let your characters feel this uncertainty but don’t you fear it.

   –Finally, Believe. Don’t make excuses. Don’t look for a way out. The best way is always through according to Robert Frost. Like those astronauts, you need to steer straight ahead. When you believe you can, you will. Eventually the distance to the moon closed and suddenly the astronauts were there and winging their way back home. Climax and ending.

You signed on for a cosmic journey this year, becoming your own astronaut in an adventure of literary and personal exploration. I have every faith that you can succeed. Believe in yourself and your project and you will be splashing back down to Earth in two weeks, beginning with one heck of a tale to tell about your journey. And that tale is one we are all hoping to read.

It all began with 50,000 words.

Today you’re hitting around 20,000 or maybe you’ve done a slingshot around the moon and are cruising at over 25,000. Even if you’re floating at 15,000, great work! I believe you can do it. The astronauts believed and look how far we went: Apollo, Space Shuttle, Space Station. Let this small cold moment in the middle of space be the momentum for your amazing finish! Next stop, Mars!

The midpoint? The name is only a marker. Like saying the cup is half full. We both know you are going to finish now. You’ve come this far, seen the dark side of the moon and now you turn your face to the home. Your Earth. Good luck explorers. I can’t wait to read about your adventures.

Hang on tight! The Earth’s gravity is pulling you back and your trip is almost over. You can do it!

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Next time we meet here, let’s talk turkey…and gratitude. Thank you!

Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry

Happy Halloween, NaNo, & News

This is the last post for October. In just two days it will be Halloween, the spookiest, creepiest, giggle-fest of the year. I decorate on October 1 and I do enjoy the ghoul-fest, despite not having children. I have such great memories of trick-or-treating, but I think the reason my joy remains is the care Mother took in explaining WHY we did the things we did. Understanding helped make the holiday indelible and I thought I’d share with you.

Since the 1920s, kids in North America have been doing trick or treating. The idea is to dress up (so the real ghosts and goblins think you are part of them and don’t bother you), then you go door to door and ask for treats in lieu of a trick being played on the owner. Those who don’t give treats are tricked with soap or toilet paper (in the more gentle and benign tricks).  In those countries where they dress up, the costumes must be scary. Only in America will you find the custom has been altered to include the sexy, cute and Disney. 

Give good treats to appease the spirits. Long ago, the food was left on the doorstep and the spirits were invited to take what they wished and be happy. Can you imagine leaving unguarded chocolate on your front porch? Yikes! I don’t know what would be worse, the melting, the ants or the stampede!

Don’t forget to leave out a glowing Jack-O-Lantern! The lighted gourd actually began long ago in Europe. You carved out a turnip (not a pumpkin) and put an ember in it so that it told the roaming spirits that the house was taken or protected. Without the lighted lantern, you might be possessed! It was the Irish who brought the custom to America and found the pumpkin, then changed the custom.  The Jack-O-Lantern is named after the will-o-the-wisp, or the jacks, who were believed to spirts who hung out in the marshes and bogs.

Knowing some of the Halloween customs gave the holiday life for the little kid in me and I learned to love and not fear the fun. I think it’s why creepy and spooky highlights my writing, because I am not afraid to go deep into the dark. For only in the dark do you see the light.

I hope you share the customs of the day with your friends and children, then have a most haunting candy-fest. Remember to stay safe, and share some of your goodies with your children. haha

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honeymoon kids

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Yesterday was my 29th wedding anniversary. Hard to believe it’s been that many years! My hubby and I spent the day being lazy and cuddly, enjoying each other’s company and then going out to dinner. I am blessed to have found such an amazing human being with whom to share my life. As with so many things in my life, I think about how I show long standing relationships with my characters and how I share the rich relationships. Nothing in my emotional life is wasted, every joy and sorrow is personal and fodder. But I must say, in this special moment of knowing and loving someone for so long, the depth of our caring is so much more mature than it has ever been and I make note how he and I manifest that love. A writer never forgets that every moment is noteable. But Happy Anniversary my love. Let’s go for another 29 years.

National Novel Writing Month

In just a couple days, National Novel Writing Month begins again! I’m in! I hope you will join me. Make your preparations now:  find a writing spot, identify your writing buddies, get all you snacks and papers together and mentally prepare for the daily write. If you are used to it, then get that outline ready to go. I’m poetphoenix on the website. Let’s hook up.

This year will be epic. I’ll give you updates at least weekly – stay tuned for videos too.

WRITER NEWS

You know what I’ve said about how important it is to market and promote, right? So here’s what’s been happening with me.

A great many events have been going on helping to market my latest release, LOVE AND BLOOD.

– Kicked off my promotion with an interview by my friend and fellow author Yvonne Mason of Off The Chain on blogspot radio. What fun! She’s showcased every book over the last few years and is a strong and generous supporter of Indie Authors. Check out her diverse archives!

– Hanging With Web Show has been a staunch supporter and hard marketer of all my books and right now they are heavily promoting Love and Blood. Check out their podcasts and see what Featured Authors they have because you might discover something new for your reading list.

–  Jennifer Wedmore of Wickedly Innocent Promotions worked a Facebook release for the book.

–  Jodi Hunley Bird of Ruby Red Romance Reviews, fostered me for Foster An Author 2018. As a fostered author, she promoted me for a week, from Oct 22-26 and wonderful promotions gave my book delicious exposure. Plus I made new contacts on Twitter, Instagram and on my Facebook page! If you haven’t done this program before (this was my first time), then I recommend you give it a try next year. #FAA4 #FosterAnAuthor #FAA2018

– On Oct 26, Laurie Kehoe interviewed me on blogspot radio program, Authors Corner. What a fun hour! If you missed the advertisement about it, please check it out. We talked writing, the new book and books we loved by others. It was a free interview and what a gracious gift to an Indie Author like me. Check into her archives too because she interviews all sorts of cool folks!

– Coming up, I’m a part of the 2018 Halloween Pub Crawl, and you can sign up! All you have to do is join a bunch of groups. Then starting Oct 31, the groups will give out passcodes which you will need to collect and then return to the main page and turn in on a form. The more passcodes you collect, the more entries you get to win. What do you win?  Some books and a $250 Amazon gift card! So what are you waiting for? The crawl only lasts 48 hours once it starts!

–Coming up on October 31, Silver Dagger Book Tours is going to do a month long showcase of my books. YOU CAN SIGN UP AND HELP! Go here and join in on the party. I will thank you!

-Finally, if you want a treat, join me for my monthly live chat, FIRESIDE WITIH THE PHOENIX, on my Facebook Author page, Hallloween day 1pm EDT for 15 min (or so) of craziness. No telling what I might do on that spooky day!

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As you can see, marketing is both a pain and important. You can’t skip it if you expect to sell books or gain visibility. I hate doing it, but doing it means someone new might learn about me. So help me by checking out these fabulous people (and maybe they will be helping you later.

If you have read any of my books, I would be very grateful for your support by leaving me a review on Amazon, Goodreads and BookBub. Your love is always best shown by reviews. Authors think of them like hugs.

NEWSLETTER!!! Going out by Halloween! Sign up NOW.

Hope your Halloween is FRIGHTFULLY fun.

Yours Between the Lines (and in the dark)

Sherry