Finding Gratitude from Nothing

Thanksgiving came and went this year and the holiday was a blessedly peaceful, safe, and healthy one for me. I counted my numerous blessings, ate a delicious meal and enjoyed an after dinner drink and a movie. My husband and I escaped the discussions of dreadful politics and instead we focused on family and our good life. We were (and are) grateful for what we have and cherish our good fortunes.

Gratitude. It’s so easy to feel blessed when living in abundance. It is easy to mouth about your good fortune when you have a mouth full of turkey and dressing. When you are warm by the fire in your snuggly robe and slippers enjoying a glass of fine wine and in the company of family, it is easy to feel happy. That’s why I don’t think that gratitude has as much meaning when the cup runneth over as it does when the cup is bone dry.

The fires in California provided a myriad of lessons in gratitude, or lack of it. Imagine running for your life through the flames, with nothing except the clothes on your back? And imagine your home, your town, your car, your friends – everything and everyone – perishing in the blink of a flame. Totally gone. Everything turned to gray ash. No home, no neighbors, no car, no souvenirs, no anything. You literally have nothing. How glibly those of us not there say, “well you’re alive.” And imagine the 70 yr old man who lost the only home he’d ever known, his wife, his dog, his car, his home and all his memories. And imagine how he turned to the camera and smiled and asked how he could help the firefighters. He had gratitude and wanted to share it. It was more than just “being alive.” He was genuinely thankful for his life, and those in it. He had no expectations so everything – every little thing including breathing – was a miracle for which he was grateful.

How many times have you said “thanks” out of habit or because it was expected? Do you say it when it isn’t expected? Do you express your satisfaction when there is no expectation for it? Can you say with a whole heart that you give and show gratitude and appreciation when you don’t have to or aren’t on display? Do you openly give thanks to others? Can you say that you know how to express gratitude?

This is the heart of gratitude. Feeling it when there is no obvious reason or benefit for it. To be able to say, “thank you” for a crumb instead of a whole sandwich. For having nothing but the clothes on your back and air to breathe. And to say your thanks without tearful regret, shame or other negative emotions, without wondering if you’re doing what’s expected but knowing you’re expression comes from a private place in your heart.

Gratitude is the first step to finding real happiness. To recognize and express gratitude for the smallest, the meanest, the most inconsequential is as important as recognizing your abundance, your overt blessings. When you are able to express gratitude for nothing and feel joy in that expression, then you understand the truth of finding true happiness.

So how is it done? How do you find gratitude when the car blew up and the kids are sick and bills are overdue and you’ve just been fired, when the fires take everything, when you parent dies and your divorce is final? Where is the gratitude when life hands you a big ball of….crap?

You stop expecting anything. It’s our expectations that get us into trouble. We aren’t due anything so expect nothing and everything will become a miracle blessing. Stop whining and complaining long enough to see something good in what you do have. One good thing always leads to discovering more good things. And that’s how you find abundance. Even in poverty and despair. And abundance brings on more gratitude. See?

We aren’t born knowing this emotion. We have to learn to share. So it follows that we have to learn to be grateful when we are given and stop expecting things to be our due. Once we learn the lessons that comes from gratitude, counting our blessings becomes easier to do every day.

Like the old man from Paradise who literally lost everything. His hands are empty. His world is gone. His love is dead. But, as he sees it, he still has everything. That’s a lot to be grateful for.

How about you? Give it a try. And….

As always, I remain, Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry

Welcome to the Midpoint National Novel Writing Month

A personal letter to every participating WriMo,

3…2…1…you lifted off on 1 Nov 2018 for a writing journey that is unlike any other. First time doing the National Novel Writing Month? Feeling a little lost? Long time writer but wondering, “now what?” As you stare at your journal or computer….

Imagine what it was like for the first Apollo astronauts on their way to the moon. How exciting the liftoff was, how nervous they were with all the hype, how there was so much to do in the beginning and then —

Then they managed to get halfway to the moon, and it was dark and cold and the excitement was there but doubts and worry snuck into their dreams. What were they doing? How did they think they could do this amazing thing? What if they failed? What waited for them when they got to the moon? The questions filled their minds and maybe they were just a little bit afraid of the dark, of the unknown, and even of themselves.

This is how it may go for some writers when they hit the middle of NaNoWriMo–it is dark and cold and unknown. Doubts have set in, excitement has waned and now becomes more work than fun. And there is wonder about what they are doing, if it is even worth it, if the story matters, if they can finish, and so on. It is like being in the great vacuum of space, dark and cold.

I’m here to tell you that the mid-point of the month is called a lot of things by lots of authors (my favorite is Jim Butcher’s the Great Swampy Middle), but overall it is the same for everyone. Doubts and fear create a bit of nervous uncertainty as the shiny glow of the month wears off. What now, you ask? Here’s a little advice from a WriMo veteran.

   –First, Trust Yourself. You had a plan, even if you are pantsing it. You have tales to tell. So keep telling them.

   –Next, Focus. Don’t deviate from your path. Imagine what would have happened to the space program if the astronauts chickened out? So whether you are in the middle age, middle of the book, middle of a race, keep focused. Otherwise you will veer off course and lose your way like so many before you.

   –Then, Understand. The middle is necessary. Nothing is achieved by starting and finishing without something in the middle. The astronauts probably felt tension and nervousness. They expected it and didn’t fear it. So it must be for you. Let your characters feel this uncertainty but don’t you fear it.

   –Finally, Believe. Don’t make excuses. Don’t look for a way out. The best way is always through according to Robert Frost. Like those astronauts, you need to steer straight ahead. When you believe you can, you will. Eventually the distance to the moon closed and suddenly the astronauts were there and winging their way back home. Climax and ending.

You signed on for a cosmic journey this year, becoming your own astronaut in an adventure of literary and personal exploration. I have every faith that you can succeed. Believe in yourself and your project and you will be splashing back down to Earth in two weeks, beginning with one heck of a tale to tell about your journey. And that tale is one we are all hoping to read.

It all began with 50,000 words.

Today you’re hitting around 20,000 or maybe you’ve done a slingshot around the moon and are cruising at over 25,000. Even if you’re floating at 15,000, great work! I believe you can do it. The astronauts believed and look how far we went: Apollo, Space Shuttle, Space Station. Let this small cold moment in the middle of space be the momentum for your amazing finish! Next stop, Mars!

The midpoint? The name is only a marker. Like saying the cup is half full. We both know you are going to finish now. You’ve come this far, seen the dark side of the moon and now you turn your face to the home. Your Earth. Good luck explorers. I can’t wait to read about your adventures.

Hang on tight! The Earth’s gravity is pulling you back and your trip is almost over. You can do it!

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Next time we meet here, let’s talk turkey…and gratitude. Thank you!

Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry

7 Reasons NOT to NaNo

National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is upon us. In about eight days on November 1, writers around the world will begin pounding typewriter/keyboard keys or moving cartridge pens and pencils across various thicknesses of linen and vellum all with the hopeful expectation of writing….something….new?….exciting….purposeful?…or just writing anything that will get them to the requisite 1667 words they need to achieve each and every day for the next 30 days.

Sound crazy? It is. And I’m going to tell you why you should NOT do it.

1. First, it puts a deadline on you, the writer. God forbid that a writer meet a deadline, right? I mean, sure, editors and agents and publishing houses all use them, but why do you need to put that on yourself? What purpose does it serve other than to help you adjust, on a daily basis, to meeting a goal and find self-initiative and success? What do you get when you put such stress on yourself but success? Really, is it worth it?

2. Second, it gives you stress. We all know that writers wither under stress. Stress sparks imagination and plot bunnies, it makes your dream more wild and vivid. Stress makes you eat chocolate and crave the company of others like you so you don’t feel alone while stressed. And once you are with others, you find comfort and stress relief as you work together to meet deadlines (see #1). This stress will make you get up early to get those word counts. It may force you to find a reason to write. It may teach you more about yourself and make you discover hidden strengths (and weaknesses). Good grief, who wants to be forced to learn more about their writer selves?

3. Next NaNoWriMo seems to make people show up at libraries to do – gasp – research! Now you have reasons to delay writing by claiming you can’t find what you need! Thank goodness I have a personal treasure trove of books where I can get lost for hours on end as I research and make notes and read and imagine. NaNo introduces me to others who can help me find information and force me to get lost in learning. Do we need that??

4. NaNo encourages people to go out to “meetups” and “writing groups” and “write-ins” where other crazy, stressed, sleep-deprived, anxioius, keyboard pounding people will also be, and then it wants me to engage with them and find friends who will encourage me and cheer me on to make sure I meet my daily, crazy goal of 1667 words a day. Who ever thought of anyone actually being FOR you to succeed? The very idea!

5. With daily writing, my senses are opened to new ways of seeing the world. I am forced to discover new descriptions, to open my mind to new ways of thinking as I develop characters who are not me, characters with ideas and traits that aren’t mind. Daily writing challenges me to write realistic dialogue and to actually create and give birth to new concepts and new people. I may even end up building a new world (or two). It’s an insane proposition. Why should I dare to do something so over the top?

6. During those 30 days, while stressing over plot lines and finding plot holes, I may learn how to actually tell a good story. It may not be this year or even next year but one thing I might learn is how to be a better writer than I am today. Imagine being trapped into this discovery. The cruelty and disgust I will feel when I realize that I have become more than I ever dreamed, only because I dared to try to write 1667 words a day for 30 days. Do I need this stress that serves up such results?

7. Special Bonus – Four of my NaNo projects are now published, award-winning novels. But who wants to have that as a part of their resume? I mean “AUTHOR?” Isn’t that too much of a burden to carry?

Imagine it. If you can’t imagine with me then you definitely should NOT participate in National Novel Writing Month.

On the other hand, if you CAN imagine the growth and fun behind the challenge, if you CAN imagine the chance to complete a book project and begin your journey into authorship, then please do join me in this year’s National Novel Writing Month by going here and signing up. I’ll be your buddy and one of those crazy people who cheers you on, especially when you start asking yourself what in the heck you are doing trying to write 1667 words a day!

So, okay I’ve been very sarcastic here and making fun of a wonderful opportunity. Now stop laughing and think about this. My handle is poetphoenix and I’m a NaNoWriMo junkie. I hope you will be too. Just imagine it and good luck!__________________________________________________________________

Happenings

ON THE RADIO – come listen to me when I’m on AUTHOR’S CORNER with Laurie Kehoe, Oct 25 at 10pm EDT or 7pm PDT. We’re going to chat about author things and my new release, LOVE AND BLOOD.

Author Ravannah Rayne interviewed me and published it on her blog. Please drop by and give her some love and see what I have to say about writing and stuff.

Finally, I’m a fostered author in this year’s Foster an Author 2018. My foster blogger is Jodi Huntley Bird of Ruby Red Romance Reviews. For one week, Jodi will be promoting my work and helping me to find an audience. Please go see what she does.

Have you signed up for my newsletter?? Might want to give it a try! Things show up in there that I don’t say anywhere else….

Thanks for stopping in – see you at NaNo!

Yours Between the Lines,

Sherry