I’m depressed. Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I miss my mom butt that’s not why I have the blues.

Two weeks ago I finished my latest book, The Gypsy Thorn. It’s a paranormal urban fantasy and a prequel novel to a new vampire series. The new series, The Evening Bower, will begin later this year (hopefully). So, you may ask, if I have a book in the can, why am I depressed?

Because the book is done. 

Sound silly? I suppose it may seem that way. I have written three books of poetry, one memoir, one photography book, and one urban fantasy. Now I have this new book and it will be published any day. Putting a book “to bed,” typing “the end” (figuratively), isn’t new to me and you may be saying, “why aren’t you celebrating instead of bemoaning?”

Let me explain and then maybe you’ll understand what I mean. With the photography and the poetry, I didn’t deal with a character. Yes, my poetry discusses a variety of “characters” but not a sustainable one, not one that has a complete substance.

With the memoir, the topic was me and I was happy when the book was done and published. I released me and it set me free.

With the urban fantasy, Midnight Assassin – A Tale of Lust and Revenge, I told a story that I new would continue. The main character – the vampire Drahomira – was due to return in the new book and so I didn’t feel as though I walked away from her or left her. I never felt that I ever left the story. Instead, Dra hovered near me as I wrote this new book where she is the driving force. Maybe you could say we got very close.

However, when I finished The Gypsy Thorn (GT), Drahomira’s work was done. She was the tool I used to prepare my readers for the series where Drahomira is not the main character. She is one of the important people (and will have her own off-shoot series) but she is not the character on which the series is based. And putting an end to GT closed the door on my favorite bad girl. Her voice stopped and I was alone. Hence the depression.

I hear from other authors and many experience this feeling. I haven’t given birth so I don’t know post partum depression though some have said that birthing a book is similar. It is my baby. Every single one is a labor of love and I give everything to it. I am told that this feeling of “letting go” is much like seeing your children move on, graduate, leave home, etc. I can’t speak to that, but I do feel sad to see it end. And I do miss her not being there to whisper in my ear.

As a result, I am hard at work on the next book. The new characters (introduced in Midnight Assassin and GT) are shyly stepping up and demanding my attention. New whispers fill my ear. But I did want to tell you how I am overcoming this lingering, last book sadness.

Book completions are both joy and sorrow. The joy is pride and a sense of accomplishment. There is no feeling in the world like finishing your story. The sorrow is finishing the story. As with any book I read, I feel satisfaction and a little sadness in ending. That’s the key. Ending.

I realized I needed to let go. I also realized I need not grieve! Nothing is over. The new story begins, and characters continue. Things are not done yet! There is more to tell.

And that is my answer to you. When you find yourself in a little bit of the blues, in sorrow of your book’s end, then begin anew. Take your joy in your success and reseed, regrow, renew!  Be happy and proud, congratulate and celebrate.  And hey, it’s okay to be blue.

To be sad is understandable but not to remain that way. Each author must find a way to move forward, and when you do, you will give birth to new exciting characters and new stories. But first, release yourself.

I’ve heard authors say, “I gave my all to that story. I don’t know if I have anything else to write about.” Pish posh. You need to let go! Blood renews itself. Mine did. Yours will, too.

Today I am nearly over being blue and excited about The Gypsy Thorn’s upcoming release THIS MONTH. Keep checking here and on my Facebook Author page for info.

And the new book, Time and Blood? Oh what a deliciously tangled web we weave! I’ll see you with this one in October.

Meanwhile, I hope your Mother’s Day was lovely and that you have projects you can sink your teeth into with joy and gusto. As for me, the vampires are calling and demanding my attention. And THAT makes me happy!

Thanks for stopping by and keep writing.
Yours Between the Lines,
Sherry

(Midnight Assassin cover by Robin Ludwig Designs)
(The Gypsy Thorn cover by Marisa-rose Shor of Cover Me Darling)

Three years ago, I was a guest at a function with a friend of mine and as I was introduced around, one lady said, “Hello, and what are you?”

I smiled, shook her hand, chuckled a bit and replied, “Um, human?” 

She did not seem amused at my response though her companion (a male), did chuckle. She cast him a sideways “look” and pressed on. “No dear, I mean what is your job?”

“Ah!” I nodded. “Well, I’m a retired US Air Force veteran and a…”

Before I could finish, she interrupted with a tone of irritation behind her tight smile.

“Yes, I heard that already,” she frowned and sounded very exasperated. I stared to become uncomfortable. “I mean what job do you do NOW?” She was leaning into my space for emphasis (I think).

“I am a writer.” I said, flatly.  “Actually, I’m an author.”

She stared at me and said, “I heard about your hobby, dear. But don’t you have a real job?”

And then snarky me smirked, leaned in very close, and whispered, “I’m actually a midnight sex goddess but I don’t like to brag.”

“You aren’t very funny.” She huffed and her companion laughed out loud as she jerked him away.

“Obviously.” I laughed and went to get a coffee refill.

This conversation serves to highlight something I think most writers experience. Unless you have a full-time job as a journalist, creative writing professor, professional blogger, ghostwriter, magazine editor or some sort of profession where you draw a regular paycheck for your written words, you have met the enemy who thinks you have a frivolous hobby as a “writer” and basically you are a waste of space.

Worse, if you are a self-published, Indie author, you most likely have met the demons who believe you are a narcissistic, egocentric hobbyist.

Among writers, editors and other creative people, the world of the Indie Author no longer draws the skepticism, cynicism, and mockery of years past. However, there remains a large population of the traditionally published, the yearning-to-be-published, the I-only-read-NY Times-best sellers readers, and a whole generation of writers over 50 who think self-publishing means vanity press. You know, pay the publisher on proviso that you buy 500 books (or more). Or someone will ask, how can anyone possibly be seen as serious if you don’t have an agent and a Simon and Schuster, Random House or Harper imprint contract?

The times they are a-changin’ but maybe not as fast at the “real world” level as magazines and literary books might want you to believe.

There still exists this idea that if you are a “real” author, then you are a James Patterson, Patricia Cromwell, or JK Rowlings making serious money and doing nothing else. Or, what is really believed is that you are a struggling author, barely surviving. Anything else assumes that your writing is a hobby, something to be done in the dark, late at night, when your “real” work has ended (little do they know this is truer than they realize). Worse, you are some late night hack, posting to fly-by-night websites who serve no purpose but to annoy and clutter the already overpopulated web landscape.

The truth is that the Indie Author is becoming as mainstream as the traditionally published author. And most of the long-term Indie Authors (the ones who are serious and working at a book or two a year), make more in royalties than the new traditionalists (unless you wrote Harry Potter, The Historian or Fifty Shades of Grey). Still, the stereotype continues that assumes Indie’s are lacking in talent or know-how to achieve traditional publishing, when the truth is that traditional book publishers are fading in the shadow of the Indie author. Writers and those who work with writers know this.

The Indie Author is a trailblazer, a risk taker, a storyteller, a historian, a reporter, a teacher, a parent, and a child. Inside every author all these characters exist, live and breathe and are merely waiting to be born. The Indie Author knows that to deny this need is to deny oneself true self. The author knows no sex or race or religion or creed other than the Indie Manifesto – “To write the best there is, to share, to write again.”

The problem is that the average guy on the street, or woman in the party, does NOT know this. The word is not out to the everyday person. The average “Joe” is still operating on stereotypes and the battle to overcome stigmas continues. Few understand that being a writer, to become an Indie Author, is the work of the heart, and usually fills the same need as breathing.

Sadly, those who do not write DO NOT GET IT. The only way to convince the uninitiated and uninformed is to write the best damn book you can and sell it to them.  We’ll win them over one well-crafted book at a time, one story at a time, one best-seller, one award-winner, one neighborhood tale, one fan fiction, one biography….one extraordinary effort at a time. It may take time. Be patient. Rome was burnt in a day but it took centuries to build the legendary city.

Be prepared. The truth is NOT out there. The Indie Author is not a fully accepted member of society. Outside of the bigger cities, people are unlikely to understand your self-serving, narcissistic, self-actualizing, vanity book. Press on anyway.

I’d like to put in one little proviso. Once upon a time, I was warned, “You can’t confuse what you do with who you are.” In other words, you are not your “job” and your job isn’t you.  A caution not to define ourselves to our work so that we don’t become our jobs and forget that we are so many other things beyond our work. However, writers often do define themselves with their work. I am a writer. A writer writes. I write. Therefore I am a writer. But again, we are so much more too – wives, sisters, mothers, doctors, priests, lawyers, librarians…see what I mean? So I will remind you not to confuse who you are with being a writer. But let writing become a part of who you are. You write. You are a writer. And hopefully, you will be an Indie Author.

Meanwhile, the lady who tried to put me down for being a non-functioning member of society with a writing hobby? She’s since purchased my book and I heard her tell another woman, “Oh yes, I know her. She’s an award-winning author. You haven’t read her poetry? Do you live under a rock? It’s been out over a year….”

There you have it. One book at a time. One person at a time. Write well. Sell yourself. Sell the concept and success of the Indie Author and convert the enemy at the gates!

(I must add a true confession – I may be an Indie Author but I’m a bit of a reading snob. I haven’t read that many Indie Author books and remain in the mainstream book boat. But I’m improving, discovering many bestselling, NYT Indie Authors, something that there simply weren’t many of three years ago. I’m evolving)

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And now for poetry month — And in recognition of April being Children Abuse Prevention Month – here is my offering in poetry. Remember that poetry tells a story, faster and tighter than any short story or novel. Poets seek to succinctly and tightly present the truth as impactfully as possible. That’s why they are special writers. They view moments through the micro lens and present the macro issues. I tried with this one in my poetry book, THE BOOK OF NOW.

 

Good Monday, everyone. Instead of the usual Monday lesson or information article, I felt compelled to step on my soapbox and have a wee rant about Blog Etiquette, specifically, visiting blogs and responding to posts.

I love to visit my friends’ blogs. I enjoy reading about their adventures, vacations, family moments, or whatever lessons they feel are important. Reading about what others feel and do broadens my perspective and also helps me to stay in touch with people in a more personal way. Some are like digital newsletters while others are like family scrapbooks. But what is important to remember is that they are sharing personal things, whether it is a lesson or an intimate family vacation, the blog is theirs, their thoughts, their impressions, theirs.

It’s a little like visiting someone’s home. When you go to another’s house, I was taught to behave. In other words, you don’t put your feet on the table, or shoes on the furniture. You mind your manners and be gracious. And blogs are much the same as going to someone’s house — you are a guest to them.

Problem is people visiting blogs have forgotten how to act. Guests behave badly these days.

So let’s review some fundamentals and bone up on our manners.

1. When visiting a blog or posting on someone’s social media page, remember it is THEIR page, not yours. They have a right to write what they will.

2. If you don’t like what is written, you have the right to leave, move on, pass over the post.

3. If you don’t like what is written, and it is a public forum, you have the right to your own opinion and may offer a dissenting viewpoint. But remember to mind your manners. You may NOT attack the author. Just as you would not attack someone in a person’s home, so you do not do it in a public forum. 

4. Do not show up to sell something. That’s rude and spamming. Never use someone’s invitation to their blog as a means to solicit. If I invite you to my house, you don’t get to have a Tupperware sale, or a Come-To-Jesus meeting. That’s inappropriate, rude, and disrespectful to use people that way, in case no one ever told you that.

5. In today’s world, everyone seems to be a writer. That’s great! Do not use a shared connection (we’re both writers or painters or singers or mothers, etc.) to ask for help. That is inappropriate to solicit in public in a comment. If you want to reach out to a person because you want help or need to share, use contact forms or send private messages or use email (if known). Stop using comments to ask for help or solicit anything.

6. Remember that your comments should address what the post is about. If the person writes about a recipe, then comment about how you tried it, how it sounds, if your family makes something similar, or ask a question about the recipe. Do NOT branch out into how the recipe is used by politicians to solicit votes (just a far flung example, folks). In other words, be in the moment and focus on what the person is saying/writing about. Reminder, this is THEIR house, not yours.

7. Do NOT come to people’s posts to ask them to buy your products or view your page. That is spamming. Do you know the sign that says NO SOLICITING?

8. Mind your manners. If the poster speaks about winning an award, congratulate them. If you don’t feel the love, move on. No one said you had to be there. If you won the award too, share! If you are jealous and don’t feel the award program was worthwhile, don’t spew your negativity. That’s rude and is meant to drag down the other person. Take your hate elsewhere or write your own post about it. Remember you are to comment on what is, not what should be or wasn’t. Don’t be a troll.

9. If the poster asks for your opinion, by all means give one. But remember to mind your manners and watch your language. Freedom of speech doesn’t mean freedom to disparage or be foul. Would you do this inside of someone’s house as a guest? (If you would, then you need more manners than I can remind you of here!).

10. Remember that there are other means of expanding conversations if you feel it is warranted. Do NOT use other people’s posts as a means to advance yourself. Get your own blog for that, ok? Then maybe I’ll come and visit you.

11. Behavior as a commentor also defines you as a person. Are you trying to be seen as a professional in a like field as the poster? Perhaps in a field that may be of interest to the blog writer? Then act professional! People will notice those who carry themselves with a welcoming and professional attitude. Be a putz if you wish, but that will be your forever reputation. Is that what you really want? I hope not because that behavior can also get you deleted and blocked. That’s a huge UNWELCOME mat and people hear about folks who earned one.

Blogs are a good way to disseminate information, share photos, expand awareness, even approach controversy. I like them, and I like visiting them. But I never forget to mind my manners when I do.

I hope you will use and share these basic etiquette tips going forward. I think it will improve everyone’s experience as a poster and as a commentor.

Don’t forget that the owner of the residence has the right to toss you out on your ear should you be disruptive or unruly or downright nasty. The same holds true for online social media locations.

And as my mother always said, “always bring a gift when you are a guest.” If you can’t literally bring a gift, then let good manners be your present and the example for others.

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Did you participate in my NAME MY BAR CONTEST??  We have a winner!  Ann Nedich came up with the best idea and the new, trendy New Orleans bar will be called CLUB MALACHITE.

Rather appropriate since Dra’s eyes are green, the bar lights are green, and Dra just happens to own a malachite necklace which no one knew. I took that as Serendipity.

Congratulations Ann! You are now immortal. Have a Mini Malachite on the house!

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ATTENTION!   Going to do a FACEBOOK LIVE event on Wednesday March 29 at 7:30pm EDT.  It will be my first solo event, so come see me be foolish on my Facebook Author page.  I will be announcing something SPECIAL for April’s National Poetry Month. Remember to check out the archived video if you can’t join me live.

In honor of National Poetry Month, next Monday I will begin a series of articles about poetry, along with a schedule of when things will appear and special freebie book days! FREE! Stay tuned.

Thanks for joining me again. Please feel free to leave comments or use the contact form if you wish to reach me!

I remain, Yours Between the Lines,
Sherry